Muslim burial food

No, not an anti-Muslim post, just a dodgy pun.

Since those of Muslim faith like all funeral proceedings done and dusted more or less minutes after the victim of Death has become permanently kaput, do you think funeral directors hand these waffles out?

This brand is either named after an off the shelf company, or is simply a foreign food manufacturer's attempt to appeal to our need for speed, along with a doff of the cap to Middle England's affection for the old manor house. Not sure which.

Iceland microwaveable breakfast: the verdicts

Here's the verdicts on the Iceland mixed grill microwaveable breakfast.


Mrs Dukc's verdict.

CHIPS: As greasy as chips can be. Soggy but quite pleasant.
SAUSAGE: Almost inedible, greasy, contains a adult gorilla’s daily salt needs.
GAMMON: Very high on salt but perfectly acceptable.
BURGER: Bought back many happy memories of “economy burgers with onions” from the 1970s. Pretty good, though nutriotionally suspect.
BEANS: Not as juicy as expected (good). Soaked up the grease nicely from the rest of the food.

Overall mark: 8 /10
Though good value, don't feel the need to try it again.

Mr Dukc's verdict:

CHIPS: Soggy, greasy, pleasant.
SAUSAGE: What people with no money feed their kids. Very suspect flavour but with a surprisingly firm texture. Not as rough as Richmond so-called “Irish” sausages. If you’re Irish you’ll know how much of a lie this description is.
GAMMON: Very salty, pretty meaty and actually a big portion for the money. Rather impressed.
BURGER: My mum used to buy these in 1977. A cross between a Telfers Economy burger from Bejam and a Goblin tinned special. Really rather nice though completely scummy.
BEANS: A long way from being the anaemic mess I suspected they would be. Did what I hope they would do. Good soaker of grease.

Overall mark: 8 / 10.
These are 10p more expensive than a Pot Noodle so these are indirect competitors. Whereas a pot noodle is scuzzy but llikeable, this is scuzzier still and possibly less lovable (dragged down the by sad sausage), but heavier. So if you're hungry, go for these. If you want a completely doggy snack that won't fill you but tastes sweetly nostalgic, the noodles win.

Cheapest breakfast ever

I am about to tuck into what is probably the cheapest breakfast you can buy in the UK. Iceland sell a £1 pack containing a sausage, a flame grilled burger, a piece of "reformed" gammon, chips and beans. Yep. £1.

And the best thing is that is microwaveable in 6 minutes.

A review will follow very shortly.

Tesco's ginger card "gaff"

So, Tesco has had to withdraw a card with the message "Santa loves all
children...even GINGERS ones".

A couple were pictured in The Sun being "offended" by it. Is there a
special kind of "rent-an-offendee" rate The Sun pays out? Everyone seems to
be potentially offended. I'm offended by Rupert Murdoch's continued
existence, but hey ho.````````

I can think of many bigger and better things to be offended by.

But I still don't get it. Why is being ginger "funny"? I don't think this
is the case outside England, is it? Many of my Ulster in-laws are gingers
but I can honestly say that when I've been over there, a chortle-fest about
hair colour has never been on my mind.

Could someone explain this to me?