As well as being a computer slave, one of my jobs is to monitor the helpline for the database we use where I work. One of the users wrote this unintentionally amusing message this morning, which was meant, for site services. However, I couldn’t resist blogging this – or replying.
From: Anonymous user
Sent: 04 August 2006 08:54
To: Database Helpline
Subject: FW: Its still v e r y cold in our department
It is very distressing that we come in early into the office and it is very cold. Yesterday you said it will take a little while, I stayed upto 6pm and it was still cold in then, nothing had changed, if anything we were all more cold. No one has come up here to check if the temperature was correct.
Also the vending machine does not work as I used to have hot chocolate for 20p, hmmm, I am sorry to complain but am sad about these matters.
From: daggersdukc, on Behalf Of Database Helpline
Sent: 04 August 2006 09:26
To: Anonymous user
Subject: RE: Its still v e r y cold in our department
Dear ANON USER
I'm sorry to hear about your complaints. We have been working hard to make Pivotal work for all our customers. However, although the main server has been working its little heart out attempting to process our many customers data, it is obviously not pumping sufficient levels of heat to make the office a comfortable place in which to work. We will try to remedy this by doing even more work, thus ensuring a climatically neutral office environment.
Also, while you will find that [name of database withheld] abilities are many and varied, I'm afraid that nobody asked us to spec in the ability to sell cold drinks and food.
PS - I think you need to email site services!