Nicky needs to learn:
1. Leaving my bones all over the house, particularly in doorways, does not friends win.
2. One lick is as good as 2 million.
3. Sometimes wrestling is not on the cards, like it or not. When THE MAN wants to watch TV or just slob out, I must join him, or at least pretend to be joining in, even though in my head I'm actually killing Yorkshire Terriers with my FIERCE bite.
4. My bark is pretty impressive, yes, but I only need to convince you once. That's enough.
5. Turding is something I am told to do, and can't, unlike alpha humans, do it when I feel, where I feel. Pavement turds mean I sleep outside in the snow. When there is no snow, I sleep outside with two peed off cats. And THREE Yorkshire Terriers.
6. When the man wants to wrestle, I am not to curl up and pretend to be dead. He does not believe me and will only hate me for being lazy.
7. Older dogs may know more than me. I must learn from them.
8. Water can be drunk at a relaxed pace. I don't need to flood the kitchen floor to drink it and it won't disappear if I don't gulp it down as if I were living in sub-saharan Africa during a drought.
9. I am a guide dog, not a pet dog. This is something I need to remember unless I want to end up prematurely in the back of the Dog Van. NOBODY KNOWS what happens in the Dog Van.
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