Too fat to fight

According to the Grauniad, two thirds of all UK teenagers are too fat to join the military.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/military/story/0,,1938440,00.html

Kiddies, a message from the dukc.

Keep eating.

Eat until you burst.

Not only will you enjoy the experience of shovelling huge quantities of blubber making goodness down your throats, but you'll also be prevented from whoring yourselves as cannon fodder later, in order to fight illegal, immoral wars. Not all wars are, of course, illegal or immoral. Its just that this government can't decide which ones are which. So until they can get their silly little heads around the idea of whether there not there are WMDs, huge amounts of oil etc to fight for (or against) its down to you to make sure that the only armed forces we have are a lean and fit bunch. So its your responsbility to make sure this pool of is an ever-diminishing one.

Eat and save your skin. You're worth it. And if you have to fight, stay safe. Remember, we should be heading towards a state of rationality. A French philosopher once wrote: "a rational army would see the opposition and run away". So prove to the world that you are not only able to eat more than men of old, but you have moved on to a new level of collective brain evolution demonstrated by your rationality.