How can't I help you?

Just for the record, I never received a reply to this email, which I sent after not receiving any service other than a shrug and a "sorry, can't help you" response.

If C2C, the local train company for south Essex, ever DO reply, I'll be sure to post it. I received an auto-response from their server so I know it actually arrived safe and well. Sadly, their response will remain...unknown.

More "how can't I help you" stories to follow as they come.

And they most certainly will. The culture of "how may I not help you" is endemic.




From: Me
Subject: Long distance ticket
Date: 8 February 2008 18:43:40 GMT
To: custrel@c2crail.co.uk

Dear fellow human

I have just returned from Barking station where I attempted to purchase a ticket from Kings Cross to York for next Friday (about 5.30).

I was told by your admittedly polite ticket sales chap that I can only do this between 10-4.

HEL-LOOOOO!

The majority of the great tax paying public work between 9-5. So to avoid a trip into Liverpool Street to buy a ticket from the long-distance counter, or risk not getting my tickets on time by booking online I now have to return to Barking tomorrow, Saturday, a trip which was definitely NOT on my agenda. As I am a prize-winning cynic, let me pre-empt some of your responses so that you don't waste my time with pointless automaton-speak (aka PR flannel. Been there, got the T-shirt....

1. "This is a busy time".

No, it wasn't. There was me in the queue. Followed by no-one. I was at the window in about 2 seconds.

2. "We are committed to improving our customer services".

Good. You could start by offering sales points at times where people actually wish to use them.


3. "You may purchase on the online."

Indeed, I can, have, and will continue to do so. Do I not have a choice though? Ticket office. An office to buy tickets from. On my way home from work. CO-VEEE-NI-ENCE! CHOICE! Nope, no choice? Shucks-a-mussy.


4. "Our special long-distance ticket printometer runs on solar power. Had you wished to purchase a ticket in the summertime..."

Nah, that's just tooooo cynical.

But please, you get my point, surely? I mean, you guys ARE human I take it?

Anyway, I really think this yet another case of "how can't I help you, sir?"

A non- cut and pasted answer from a pre-packed formula would be appreciated. Otherwise, do spare me.

Adam Holdsworth
Dagenham
Essex




A C2C train. More useful than its ticket office.