The worst part of London

Quite an interesting conversation heard on a train I was travelling on, while on the way to Birmingham, last Friday:

American Woman (W): I live in the worst part of London.
English passenger (EP) Where's that?
W: Dagenham
EP: I don't know where that is.
W: Its a long way out. East on the District Line. Really dull, very flat, full of people who aren't that bright.
EP: Sounds awful.
W: It is. When I came here for my job I was shown pictures of Knightsbridge and Kensington. My friend lives in South Kensington. I was so jealous. Dagenham's y'know, desperate. The last resort.

Being an inverted snob, and a resident of that fine town now for ten years, I had to pipe up:


ME: Oh Dagenham. Nice place. Cheap. On the tube. Great neighbours, hardly any crime where we live. What's not to like. Oh, by the way, I've lived there for ten years.

Completely embarrassed silence.

To be fair, at least the passenger actually lived here. I do get enourmously brassed off with people who have never been to places like Bognor (where my family live) and Dagenham without having been there, and feel the need to make some sneery and usually inaccurate remark. If you've never been to a place, using an area's reputation alone as a means to sneer at the place is just snobbery for the sake of snobbery.

I would say BRITISH snobbery; however, the particular passenger, as I say, was American.

But, at least, with people like that sneering at the perceived "failed" areas like ours: the joke towns, the chav estates and the perceived urban shit-holes, at least they don't entertain us with their presence

I grew up in Hayes (a joke town, at least if you're from Uxbridge or Ealing), lived in Deptford, Bognor (which used to dubbed "clown town"), Hackney (known, when I moved there in 1993 as the "dustbin of London" - but not now kiddies: a expensive dustbin indeed) and Dagenham, all places I've liked for various reasons.

So what's the deal, snobs.


I am currently reading: Estates, by Lynsey Hanley. This book is a compelling blend of psychogeography-meets-sociology. Am agreeing with much of it.

Pizza menu de jour: Haweli Indian

Looks like this fun packed feature has been mis-named as today's menu is, yet again, an Indian treat. Not really a treat as I've not tried eating here either so "treat" may be a prematurely optimistic label. Having covered myself in case of treat disappointment and possibly litigation, it may be a treat as there is only one decent Indian round here that I am aware of, so the competition is somewhat flimsy.

It has the word "free" on it. Always encouraging in these hard times.

By way, in case you're curious, thus far I've not needed to raid the menu cupboard. The menus featured so far have all dropped through our letterbox the day before I proudly displayed them here.

Pizza menu de jour: Pizza Hut - its a sin!

Apparently, meat eating is the new sin. Still, beats the usual target of smokers, the obese and ASBO (possibly also obese) kids. Count me in as being one. A sinner, not an ASBO kid - I'm far too old, though definitely obese.

This menu at least has the benecit of attractive design. I may well give the sinful pizza a spin this Friday, if I didn't indeed chuck it.

Faher forgive me
I tried not to do it...

(I saw me a pizza
And ate right through it)

- sorry Pet Shop Boys

Pizza menu de jour: Shabana Indian

Today is the turn of this little cutie, the Shabana Indian (or sorry, Bangladeshi and Indian to be exact). Not been here so can't vouch for the quality of the food.

However, it has a welcome spot in our menu pile as good quality Indians are sooooo hard to find in Daggers. Hot curry is kind of limp in my experience. So, Shabana, its all hangs on you.

Pizza menu de jour

How many pizza menus do you think I get a year? Loads. But I don't knowfor sure, I just know there are more pizza menus dropping through my doorthan I'd ever need, bearing in mind I only eat delivery pizza about six orseven times per year. Dagenham is simply festooned with pizza delivery places, though the only one we ever order from is Perfect Pizza in Elm
Park, the next door suburb.

With no further ado then, let me introduce you to Dagenham's finest. Starting with the Pizza Go Go menu, the beginning of a major series (subject
to me being bothered) on this blog.

The Gogo is an all-red baby featuring the emergency deal, the 999 pizza, for
those pizza emergencies, for when you just can't find a big enough bandage. Nothing like a 12 inch thin crust double pepperoni with onions to cover over that dripping wound, I find. When I lived briefly in Walthamstow, Gogo on Hoe Street was pretty decent for a cheap and cheerful take-away, so I trust the pizzas here are quite edible, possibly even better than this. That hold shot wasn't really that good, so for future shots, I'll be seriously considering alternatives. Compared to Korean babes holding the
latest Samsung mobile phone, this shot really sucks. But I'm learning fast.

Weasel words: Tough decisions

An oft-used weasel phrase of our time:

"Tough decisions will need to be made on...".

Meaning: We are going to have to do something that might make us look
electorially unviable (because we are, same as the other almost identikit
clones on the opposite bench) - particularly when the well-oiled spin
machine throws a hiccup and the media wakes up from its torpor for a few
moments and asks some well targeted questions before falling back into its
alco-pop-mixed-with-coke induced slumber.

But regardless of this tough decision we'll make bravely, almost martyr-like
on your behalf, you, modern day peasant, and others like you will be
shafted. For us and our ilk its business as usual. Same as it ever was.

Swine flu and me

Spent last week with Swine Flu. Here's a description of each day.

Wednesday: at work. Very mild symptoms but by 8pm was feeling a bit un-centred. Not especially ill, but felt as if though something was missing or wrong. Kind of like the last few hours of an acid trip.

Thursday: Hot, and feeling slightly more trippy and demotivated. Not desperately sick or anything. Didn't go to work as the world felt a bit jelly-like and kind of...wrong or something. I hard feeling to define, but best description is like how it is when you've had some reasonably good grass and are stoned just beyond the stage where you feel that getting home by bus would be safe. Note: I do have some experience of this back in the 90s.

Friday: Hot and cold with proper flu vibe kicking in. Coughed, spluttered and mildly stoned feeling all day. Read loads and didn't really feel like getting out of bed but bought netbook up to bed.

Saturday: felt rather hot, with sore throat and quite a hacking cough - the kind I had when I smoked 20 a day. However, by 3pm was feeling OK again. Not stoned or monged out today, just a bit hot.

Sunday: Apart from remaining cough, back to normal really.

Monday: Back at work and feeling mostly normal again, other than a slight cough. Felt a bit demotivated, but definitley within normal range. Busy, so didn't have time to worry too much.

So, what was Swine Flu like? Compared to the death-flu I had ten years ago where the world was extremely cold, hot and floaty (often simultanously) where getting off the duvet I lay out on the floor could take 30 minutes, this time it was a breeze. Actually it was rather nice to have the luxury of genuine illness without being hugely affected. There is no way I would have wanted to leave the house for too long (in fact I didn't got out at all). The prevelant feeling was that of being mildly drugged, and since I like being mildly drugged, overall, Swine Flu wasn't too bad an experience. If death is a 10 and losing a shoe for two minutes is 1, then this gets a 3. I wouldn't go around giving it to friends, especially those with kiddies, but the hype I'm afraid, does outweigh the actuality.

Bose make some decent headphones for this

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/blog/2009/sep/25/sonic-cannon-g20-pittsburgh

 

Looks like the American cops have been using high frequency noise against G20 protesters in Pittsburgh.  Interesting.

 

Simple solution: Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones.  And if you can't afford these admittedly pricey noise cancellers, then any decent set of Sennheisers with some Nirvana playing at max vol. should do the trick.   Do you feel stupid and contagious?  No.  

Seriously, anyone who objects to the protesters should remember that it may be your pet cause under attack by the increasingly unembarrassed governments of the world. I for one  can't get too worked up about testing on animals, but like Voltaire, I would defend anyone's right to protest against it if they DO feel strongly enough.   Creatively and amusingly rather than with violence if poss.  Government can take mockery less even than being ignored (which is what we should be going more often - ignoring works with little kids).

 

I think Hitler's regime was allowed to develop under such complacent circumstances (mind you, ordinary  pre Nazi era Germans were probably too busy trying to afford such basics as bread to care - until it was too late. . 

Chas 'n' Dave "split"

The Graun had an article yesterday about Chas 'n' Dave, the band who bought East End knees up music to the masses (in the 80s too) "splitting". Well, since they are ending on amicable terms, "splitting" seems a bit harsh. 

 

I used to quite like their music in a non-committed sort of way, so when a friend dragged me along to the Fairfield Halls in Croydon to see them play, I went with some trepidation, not expecting much, but enjoying the company.   They were fabulous!. 

 

The lads put on a top gig - really energetic, with half the show dedicated to taking requests from audience members, the other half just larking around and mostly playing the more well-known tracks of theirs.  Their presence will be sadly missed.  They played  Glastonbury a few years ago and from the comments I've read about the experience, they really worked the crowds, making many new fans along the way I'd guess. 

 

Apparently Dave's missus has died of lung cancer (which prompted Dave's retirement from the biz).  Not so nice.

 

From me, good luck to the lads,  and of course...GERTCHA!

 

Mind of a what?

Does anyone know what tune the musical box plays during the closing seconds of Mind of a Toy by Visage?  Loved it since I was 11. 

 

The Victorian sounding box It has a chord in there which turns me to mush. 

 

I can't find anything about this on the net, even in its own Wikipedia entry. 

Beautiful corporate bullshit

You've gotta  just love the bull put out by the likes of Trafigura, successfully sued for dumping a tankerful of sludge all over the Ivory Coast:

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/16/trafigura-african-pollution-disaster

 

So, does the company even acknowledge this disaster they caused exists?  Naaah.

 

Instead, on the Trafigura website, we have this gem:

 

"A culture of risk awareness runs through all of Trafigura business activities, with traders operating within clearly defined risk parameters."

 

(Oh yes, you bet a culture of risk awareness runs thorough Trafigura business activities.  Low-risk Africans.  No bother, no risk). 

 

Then this slice of crud under "Our Responsilbities":

 

"Trafigura impact on the global economy is a positive one; our responsibility is to the communities in which we operate, our customers, our suppliers and employees". 

 

(I bet those Ivorian were soooooooo grateful for the responsibility shown to their health and the pleasant state of their city).

 

There is nothing in the "Our News" section about the company being sued.  Not a dickie bird.

Shiver me timbers

I'm not really in favour of voting for "one issue" parties, but lets be honest here, my only alternative is to deliberately destroy my ballot paper come the next election, or just aim my pencil randomly somewhere.  The alternatives (apart from maybe the Greens) are just awful. 

 

The Pirate Party's campaign is at least straddling an area which gels very, very strongly with me. So they may just get my X.   

 

They are, apparently, the fastest growing party in Europe, and very popular with the kiddies.  And I'm only half convinced that file sharing is complete morally neutral.  The older I get, the more doubtful I become, but the heavy handed reactionaries in the music biz appear to resemble the horse and cart industry just after the 1,000th Model T rolled off a Detroit production line way back when. 

 

http://www.pirateparty.org.uk/

 

Jack 'n' Chill

I nearly always enjoy finding out "what happened next" to one hit wonders. 

 

This topic might become an occasional ongoing theme, we'll see.  To get the ball moving, here's what happened to Jack 'n' Chill who made the first UK house track, The Jack That House Built, which I  really liked at the time (I was 18, and this stuff mattered a great deal, especially as I was still trying - abysmally as it happens  - to play keyboards).   I felt rather nostalgic hearing it yesterday when rediscovering it on Youtube   

 

I had no memory of what the track was called or who it was buy, and since there are no lyrics, this required a fair amount of sleuthing (but thanks to Everyhit). 

 

A link to the track is here:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDMu3r73Ko4

 

Its funny how some musos turn to drugs, and some to loose women and huge hamburgers, but in this case, one of the members of this band went on to become a dance floor backroom boy.  Hope these guys are still working -  it really was quite a pioneering track, being produced as it was in the UK - one of the first house tracks to have originated outside the USA and Chicago in particular. 

 

 

Jack 'n' Chill:  A duo consisting of producers Vlad Naslas and Ed Stratton, Jack 'N' Chill's hypnotic, instantly recognizable house instrumental "The Jack That House Built" was one of the first house hits produced in the UK (it reached no. 6 in the mainstream sales chart in February 1988). The similar-sounding follow-up single "Beat The Heat" was less successful commercially, and the duo then split up after just two singles. Stratton would then spend three years as a recording artist/producer signed to Virgin Records and later to Rhythm King Records and release a solo album entitled "Step into Time" under the artist name Man Machine. In 1990 he had the idea of creating the world's first dance music 'sample CDs' - a collection of 3 CD s called the 'Zero-G Datafiles' which featured over 3000 audio samples & loops. Although not intended to be used commercially, they became extremely popular. Together with Julie Stratton, Ed then formed the 'Time+Space' publishing company for sample CDs, and other talented sample producers were soon signed up to provide new collections for Time+Space to distribute on the Zero-G label. Meanwhile Vlad Naslas formed the instrument manufacturing company Lovetone with Dan Coggins, which (perhaps oddly) is specialized in guitar pedals.

Modern day peasants

I have nicked this comment from "Calli" from the Graunad comments section as this view so much echoes my own:

 

 

"... the only economic recovery that would mean anything to me would be a change of political system. The current system just puts us, the ordinary people - working class, middle class, small business - through this cycle again and again. I cannot accept that this is an acceptable future for myself or my children, especially because those principally responsible for these cycles sail through the bad times unscathed.

The only political message that would convince me would be a long term vision. I'm not tied to a particular ideology, but it would involve a constitution, getting rid of the 'second' house, long term planning, massive restrictions on "free market capitalism", and limits on how long people can "serve" as MP's. I would make the process of becoming an MP much more like jury service than the gravy train it currently is.

Brown, Cameron : neither has my vote because all they represent is more of the same rubbish that has plagued the UK since, at least the war - a public schoolboy's bunfight were the ordinary citizens are treated like pawns. "

So....what to do next?

 

 

Speech Debelle wins Mercury Prize: or, where's the other good stuff?

Ok, I've not heard Speech Debelle's album as I write this, so can't comment on its merits, but I have a question to the music biz in general.

 

If this album is so good, good enough to be recognised to be submitted for a major award (not to mention major sales jack), how come its only sold 3,000 copies up till now? *

 

There is so much good music around.  So why does the biz continually promote mediocre crud?  How many other brilliant artists am I missing, and who've also sold 3,000 CDs, when several million would be justified?

 

Biz: don't blame illegal downloaders, blame yourselves for not seeing the bleedin' obvious.  If you promote crud, you lose sales.  If you promote decent music then you gain sales.  You'll get illegal downloaders too, but I'll buy a CD and not rely on Spotify when the music is good enough for me to keep it permanently on my iPod.  Of course, when the Symbian version of Spotify is released, I'm becoming a premium subscriber. 

 

Another another thing: over 40s buy music too. I am old enough to remember when pop could be bought by a teeny, my mum, and sometimes my granny.  This does not necessarily indicate its high quality, but then pop is meant to be more Stephen King than Pushkin.  Quality isn't the point - listenablity is.  Most of the pop I love has no musical merit at all, but conjures up memories, grabs you by the feet and gets you bopping.  Its a heart, not a head thang.   

 

I will post a brief comment on Speech Debelle's album after I've played it. 

 

* Yes, I know,  Awards don't indicate whether something is good or not, and anyway, that's in the ear of the beholder of course.  But no smoke without fire, right?

Too darn hot: who paid for the (Mc)Kinsey report?

So a report is fired out by the McKinsey ("dya mind if I just borrow your watch to tell you the time and claim a tenner from you") management consultants, saying that the NHS needs to shave 10 percent of its staff to remain viable. 

 

What the f**k do management consultants know about running a hospital? Or anything else, really?

 

And the slightly sinister thing is that no politician wants to own up for commissioning this report in the first place.  SOMEONE paid for it.  Consultants don't work for free last time I looked. 

 

My theory is that actually, some stinking Nasty Tory paid for it to prepare us for when they inevitably win the next election.

 

"Hey look.  We won by a huge majority.  That means the public must really like what we intend to do.  So...let's do what we do best.  Close things.  Make life as hard as possible for the population who aren't us.  That's nearly everyone!!! Who cares - they are scummy old peasants.  What?  We are nasty.  Nooooo!  Never.  We're just saving you all from the big taxes from big government....".

 

Then, seeing the fuss made by the GBP (Great British Peasantry) against a bunch of US neocons about the "Orwellian" NHS,  backtracked.  But...the money had been paid, the report was let loose on an unsuspecting bunch of serfs anyway. 

 

Bet I'm right about this.   And I'll be pleased to name the name on this here blog, if it's ever revealed.   

 

 

 

Chopper!

Really glad to see one of these around.  When I was a kid these were all the rage.  You had a Grifter if you were hip, but a Raleigh Chopper if you were the daddy.  Mine was orange and black.

 

A few differences between this baby, which I snapped in Maldon at the weekend, is that the banana seat isn't suitable for giving friends a ride on the back ("backies") and I think the wheels on the modern-day version are closer in size to one another than the original 70s model, which featured a much larger back wheel, if my memory serves. 

 

 

Ad's eats: Tarantino: 51 High Strett, Hornchurch, Essex

For our 9th wedding anniversary, The Wife and I headed to Tarantino’s Italian restaurant in Hornchurch, after this was recommended by a work colleague.

Well, thumbs up to her, for this place was everything I’d been told it would be. Firstly, the service was really friendly. I think this is partly due to place being local, with another branch in Brentwood. Very much a family affair and all the better for without any sense of corporate blandness you sometimes find in Italian restaurants, though Zizzi nearby doesn’t do too badly in this respect despite it being part of the ASK group. Tarantino’s has a regular menu plus a couple of specials which change weekly.

I was told that the portions would be large, and that the quality would be high. Both assertions were not wrong.

For my starter, I ordered baby back ribs with honey barbecue sauce, and that’s exactly what I got, with the ribs falling off the bone. I would have complained that the sauce was a bit sweet, but then I remembered it said it would come with honey, as indeed it did. The portion on the platter was main meal size. My Dearly Beloved had meatballs which were the best I’ve tasted, made of a combination of beef and veal, very finely minced and tasting expensive. Again, a larger than average portion. So far so good.

Next we both had a tagliatele dish. Mine was with creamy tomato and garlic sauce, with strips of scotch steak. The beef tasted like it was not from the cheapest cut - I guess it came from sirloin, and was very tasty and perfectly cooked, so chewy enough without arguing with the teeth. This was, perhaps, the best pasta dish I’ve ever eaten. The sauce was delicious and robust, matching the steak strips perfectly, and the pasta firm and not claggy in the slightest. The Wife also gave her pasta dish eight out of ten, though I never tasted any of hers as it contained broccoli. I’d rather die before eating this.

Mrs Dukc was what full after this extravaganza of flavour and so went straight to coffee. I went for the strawberry cheesecake, which I would rate highly, though it didn’t have the wow factor of the pasta. Big portion though, so gets 7 out of 10.

Overall, I’m going to give this place a highly recommended rating. I do love Italian and it is quite easy to get a pasta dish. But it is very difficult to make a pasta meal exceptionally well, and that’s just what they’ve done here. Its won two awards, one being the “Best Regional Italian Restaurant” award. With good reason.

Despite the reputation Essex suffers, Hornchurch is an area of well-kept secrets, with Bonaparte being better than most French restaurants in London I’ve tried. Tarantino’s has barged its way into my “restaurants I now love” list. On a limb in the RM postcode area, all these delights are skipped by the London critics who tend to stick around the West End, Mayfair and Kensington. Great if you live or work there. However, for us in the far eastern suburbs, Hornchurch is a real unsung oasis.

Ssssshh. We’ll keep it to ourselves before all those peasants further west discover it.

Did Roger Linn love Alice too?

Most people – that is the vast majority of punters who aren’t electronica/muso types – can ignore this post. But I was playing Spotify at work, and re-stumbled across an album my dad used to play a lot – “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” by Elton John.

Listening to All The Girls Love Alice made me think “by golly, that drum kit doesn’t half sound like a Linn Drum LN1, as used on countless Human League and Michael Jackson “Thriller” era tracks”. Well of course it wasn’t as the first Linn wasn’t made til at least 10 years later.

I wonder though if Roger Linn had a particular kit or track in mind when putting together those famous ROM chips? If so, I think the sounds on Alice are a definite possibility, the snare and toms are VERY close matches sound-wise.

The LN1 was a groundbreaker and is still iconic, and I have to confess I find it very pleasing to listen to nearly 30 years after it crashed and banged its way into the charts. The bass drum on the later 9000 – now that’s a full bodied sound – wowzer.

The simple happiness of finding Ricardo Autobahn's "Beep Beep"

Just a random muse on a Friday night, after watching Demon Seed with Julie Christie (man, that computer has a frightening voice), I was noodling around the music files on the PC and found Beep Beep by Ricardo Autobahn, from the album Interrobang.

What a very good track. Two years ago, I heard this when I was a) extremely drunk; and b) incredibly, almost terminally depressed due to a lot of aggro at work, and its retro cheerfulness really helped me put the crappiness of the day - which in fact led to me leaving the job and taking my present (non crappy) one – to one side, if only for a few hours. As heard on The Zone (but where else?) Bought the album off iTunes, this track was the absolute banger!

It sounds like what what you’d get if you artificially inseminated a Spectrum computer with the sperm of a first gen Akai sampler.

I challenge any electonica fan not to grin mindlessley when playing it - which you may by clicking:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb2buOocwaQ